Moving in Slow Motion

Continuing on from the last blog:

There are days when I feel like I've taken a step forward and other days when I feel like I've taken a step backwards. Day after day I feel like the world keeps moving and the things that I know God wants for me are moving in slow motion. But are those things moving in slow motion or just not as fast as I would like them to move.

This year in my blogs I've been talking about how I need a significant amount of money to do what I believe God has called me to do. It's extremely frustrating because when I get a some extra cash, an unexpected bill seems to pop up. I'm trying to save money for the leadership school that I believe God has told me to do this fall, but I've only got 5 months now to get the money that I need.

I've asked God and even friends if they have any ideas on how I could get some cash. But God is still quiet and I'm not sure what to do. I've pursued God about getting a 2nd job numerous times, but I never have peace about it and then He'll bless me by picking up some extra hours at my job. I've still been trying to Give God More Spiritually , but it's difficult when like last month I'd work the equivalent of a full time job (my current set hours are part time hours).

Despite my frustration and being impatient, I've been praising God for the little ways that He blesses me and continues to bless me.

P.S. God gave all of us extra organs that we don't need to survive on, so maybe I could sell some organs... like one of my kidneys. Just Kidding! Ha Ha! :-)

What Does That Look Like?

About a month ago, I was feeling like someone had hit the "pause button" on my life. I felt like no matter how much I'd push forward, I'd end up not going anywhere. I was frustraited with God, because I was lacking any direction from Him. So I asked some respected elders in my church to pray for me. I told them that if God wanted me to head in another direction of my life, then NOW would be the time for Him to lead me to where ever He wanted me to go. After praying for me the couple told me that I needed to give more spiritually, but what does that look like?! I understood what they told me, but as time went on I realized that I still had no clue what specifically I was to do.

Once again, I pushed forawrd in my life and with the things I believe God was telling me to do. But instead of feeling like my life was "paused" I felt like it was going in slow motion. I decided to not stress about things not going my way, and just relax as I planned for a road trip with a couple friends to Colorado for 2 of my good friends wedding (March 14th).

On the way home from Colorado, a wise friend confirmed some things about what he believed God was laying on his heart to tell me. It was about giving spiritually and some ideas on how to do that.


I enjoy giving. I feel like I give so much of myself, time, money, and other things freely... sometimes a little too freely. I don't consult God in what I'm giving and I've realized sometimes I'll say "I really feel like God wants me to give __________ to you." But really it's me being impulsive and the adrenaline of being spontaneous makes me think that God's telling me these things.

I believe that consulting God more about the things I give, and giving more to Him spiritually is going to be a HUGE step in maturity and growth spiritually.

With this said, I feel like it's going to be a slow process, which makes me anxious about the things I need (finances) and I'm feeling the crunch (6 months) of when I need these things. But I know that God has put this passion inside my life for a reason, and that reason is not for failure. I know God will provide, and I need to be patient for His timing for it all take place.


I made my 3rd Video Blog while I was at the YWAM Denver base, and I've put some pictures in the video as well to help you see the place where I know God has called me for another season of my life.

Watch and Enjoy!

P.S. Comments are always welcomed!!!

My Faith in God = God's Faithfulness

Just a brief update from the last blog.
After completing the all natural cleanse, I feel amazing! I feel more alert, have a clearer mind, I lost 10-15 lbs, and I'm still trying to break old habits by making healthier choices and practicing moderation. I often tell people that I feel like I've drank a cup of coffee without the negative effects, and the energy I have continues throughout the day.

Now, here's my 2nd Video Blog about Faith and Faithfulness. Also, here's a scripture God gave me last week about having Faith in Him and He will show me His faithfulness.

He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." - Matthew 13:31-32 NIV

Cleansing

Day 15 of 21:

For 15 days I've been doing an all natural body cleanse which is also a liver detox. Days 1-10 I was ONLY eating raw fruits and vegetables, and taking vitamins and minerals. The 1st day I had a terrible headache which lasted through most of the next day. A cold was going around and I got it. I almost thought I should quit the cleanse, but I knew that if I quit I'd either have a lot of vitamins left over or I'd just have to start over from day 1. So I pressed on and I got over my cold much faster than other times. On day 11 I was able to allow my taste buds to have a dance party with fish and chicken. Mmmm... it tasted SO good.

How am I feeling now? GREAT! Most days I feel like I've had a cup of coffee without the tired feeling after it wears off. My energy has increased, I'm more focused, and I just feel good for eating healthy. I have also lost an average of a pound a day of weight. When I've gone on the Wii Fit my BMI continues to go decrease to a healthy BMI, and my Wii Fit age has gone from 48 to 30.

While being on this cleanse, I've noticed things about my eating habits... they are terrible. When I'm really hungry I reach for the the thing that will give me the quickest fix to get rid of my hunger pains, which are usually things filled with refined sugars or something that processed. I hardly ever want to eat a piece of fruit or even munch on some veggies.

Just the other day I realized that I have bad eating habits with my spiritual life. I may "eat" good for a season, but then I binge on junk:TV, movies, music, things on the Internet, etc. or sometimes I become spiritually anorexic by not eating at all (reading the Bible, praying, etc). As is true in the flesh, it is not spiritually healthy that I have developed these bad eating habits. I need to do a spiritual cleanse.

So, I've started a spiritual cleanse. I'm making sure I read my Bible and pray everyday. I've also put a filter and a conscious effort to be careful what I watch and listen to. I'm hoping that this isn't just a season that I periodically go through, but a life change. And I am aware that I will encounter things along the way that will make me want to quit, but I know that I have enough discipline to press on.

More Reflections of 2008

So there I was unloading dishwasher when I began to have a conversation with God. I started talking and voicing all of my problems; asking Him to take care of them. A few minutes later I realized I wasn't talking,nor was I thinking of my problems. I was remembering the things God taught me during 2008 and wondered why I wasn't ecstatic about 2009anymore. God is always faithful to fulfill His promises, so what happened to that excitement of what God is going to do...?

Thinking back on 2008...

God has taught me many things about being a mother. I've spent many days being with children: In the Spring, I helped out with nursery in my church, watching and teaching about 1-4 toddlers (some of them only knew Spanish); In the Summer, I babysat my cousins (then ages 6, 9, and 11); And in the Fall/Winter, I began working with physically and mentally handicapped adults in their home (which sometimes would be like dealing with children). God also showed me how He's teaching me how to be a wife through Proverbs 31, by serving with a giving attitude, by learning how to cook and clean with a loving heart, learning how to crochet, and how to live selflessly. Oh, how quickly I had forgotten about these things I've learned. I've tried do these things on my own before, but it took God to mold and soften my heart to effectively learn what it was that He wanted me to learn.

So as I found myself silently reflecting on 2008, I noticed a smile come across my face and a giggle burst out of my voice. God didn't teach me how to be a wife and a mother for no reason. So as every day passes I get more and more excited for the days when I will be a wife and a mother.


P.S. Some day I would love to be a stay at home mom.