TRUST

It’s a typical fall day today. It’s cloudy, breezy, cool, and most of the leaves have fallen off trees as they layer the ground with a new shade of brown. Much like the changing of seasons, I have recently discovered a new layer of change in my life. I am growing and changing with every season, but I have realized that I will soon be entering into a new layer. This layer is something that I am going to have to make a conscious effort to change in my life.

One of the biggest things God told me He was going to do in my life this year was develop trust in my life. I have seen how I have had to learn how to trust God, first. Then I have learned that I need to trust others. And now I need to use the two together. I will be soon learning how to trust God when I trust others. I’ve come to the realization that I don’t willingly open myself up to people unless they open up to me first. But those relationships tend to be draining for me because they are one sided relationships. I have realized that I push people away before getting too close, and I don’t let people know how I really feel, especially in moments when I really need a friend. I don’t want to be co-dependent and so I try to deal with things that I am struggling with on my own, or with God’s help. So I am going to try to open myself up more, in hopes that I wont get hurt, and if I do I am going to ask God to help me to continue to open up and trust people more.

The Number of the Day is: 10

 

It’s 10 o’clock at night, on the 10th day of the 10th month in the year of 2010. The air is cold and rain falls from the sky. The wind blows as sounds of cars driving in puddles on the pavement . For me the Autumn season has just begun. Summer will blow it’s warm air through, but will only make an appearance from time to time until Winter makes it’s dramatic entrance.

A sigh of disappointment escapes my mouth. Thoughts of longing and of letting go fill my mind. And as I ponder this thought an epiphany comes to mind!

This is what I have been doing a lot lately. I have been letting go of my dreams and desires to fulfill God’s dreams and desires for me. Some of these dreams I believe are ones God has given to me years ago, but I still need to let those dreams go. It’s hard, but I really believe that in this season of my life God wants all of my heart. He wants all of my thoughts to be about Him. When I think about letting go of my dreams and desires, I cannot help but think of a song by Francesca Battistelli called I’m Letting Go. It speaks volumes to me right now.

Chorus:

I’m letting go of the life I’ve planned for me and my dreams
I’m loosing control of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

2nd Chorus:

I’m letting go of the life I’ve planned for me and my dreams
I’m loosing control of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

a BIG season

Its the beginning of the Fall Season. The weather is getting cooler, the leaves are beginning to change, and the football season has begun.

For me, the new quarter is about to begin with about 105 students arriving on Monday. I am very excited to be staffing my 1st school as a Small Group Leader (SGL). I will be a SGL for the Musician’s Discipleship Training School. I will also be the Hospitality Assistant and helping out with some childcare (babysitting). It will be a busy quarter. With being a SGL, I will be discipling 3 young women throughout their 3 months of teachings. I will be meeting with them once a week for a one-on-one, and we will have Small Group times with all of us together. I am really looking forward to getting to know these women, along with the other people in the Musicians DTS.

On a more personal level, I am expecting highs and lows this season in my life. I am expecting good time and hard times. Now, I know that through the lows and hard times I will grow more and I will learn more, but I am prepared for it to not come “easy” or naturally. I have noticed a pattern of God revealing really significant things to me during seasons like this, and I am anticipating for God to reveal some answers to questions that I’ve had for a while. I am really looking forward to this season in my life, and the BIG things that are going to happen.

Twenty-Five

 

I am twenty-five years old. I am a quarter century old. I am old enough to rent a car without under age fees. I am more beautiful inward and outward than I was a year ago.
As of August 13th, I am twenty-five years old!

I am really excited for this year of my life. I feel in my spirit that big things are going to happen this year. I am going to go through a huge amount of growth and maturity. It’s going to be good.

At twenty-five, I would have thought that I’d be married, have at least one child, and possibly live the American Dream.  But at twenty-five I am single, have no children, am living on my own in a suburb in Denver, Colorado, working for a non-profit organization, trusting in God to provide for my finances, and living off of faith for God to provide all of my needs. It is wonderful. God knew what was best. I love my life!

This year I spent my birthday away from my family. It was hard at times, but I have such great friends and people that are like family here. I think because of these people, I had the best birthday in long time. I felt so loved and encouraged. I spent some quality time with several friends and went to downtown Denver for a girls night out. I am so blessed.

I am looking forward to what God has planned during my year of being twenty-five years old, and I am prepared to let Him use me in any way He has planned.

Happy Father’s Day

I’m a little late in writing this blog, but just as I acknowledged my mom – I want to acknowledge my dad.

My dad and I have a funny relationship. We are so much alike that we butt heads at times, and other times we think and see things alike.

As I have matured and grown up, I have noticed how much of God’s character I see in my dad. My dad provides for me when I need him to. If I get into a jam and need money, he is there to provide. If I need new clothes or a new pair of shoes, he is there to provide. If I need some family time; he is there. If I need advice, he is there. And if I need a hug, he is definitely there.

My dad sometimes appears to be “tough guy” by showing little emotion, but deep down he has such a soft, gentle, and compassionate heart. He often befriends the “underdog” even if that means an actual animal. Several times my mom and I have tried to convince my dad to get another animal (even when we had 4 cats and 3 dogs inside the house). But his answer was always, “NO!”. I now realize why he his answer was always no. It was because when he commits to something he sticks to it. Also, the animal that he seemed to like the most was the one that didn’t get as much attention.

My dad is witty and has random moments of silliness. He even likes to try to embarrass me. For example, I will be walking around in Wal-Mart with my parents and I may go off to look at something in a nearby isle. Sometimes my dad will shout “Rebecca! Rebecca!”, when he knows exactly where I am. I have learned to ignore him because it makes him look like a weirdo. I have also learned to follow his example, so once in a while I will be the weirdo yelling his name in a store.

I really appreciate my dad for all of the times that he could have given up during hard times. But he remained strong and continued to move forward. My dad has endured much in his life and made sure that my brother and I were always taken care of and that history did not repeat itself.

My dad is humble , loving, kind, generous, sensitive, perceptive, funny, honest, charismatic, loved by everyone he comes in contact with, and so much more.

I LOVE MY DAD!