It’s a typical fall day today. It’s cloudy, breezy, cool, and most of the leaves have fallen off trees as they layer the ground with a new shade of brown. Much like the changing of seasons, I have recently discovered a new layer of change in my life. I am growing and changing with every season, but I have realized that I will soon be entering into a new layer. This layer is something that I am going to have to make a conscious effort to change in my life.
One of the biggest things God told me He was going to do in my life this year was develop trust in my life. I have seen how I have had to learn how to trust God, first. Then I have learned that I need to trust others. And now I need to use the two together. I will be soon learning how to trust God when I trust others. I’ve come to the realization that I don’t willingly open myself up to people unless they open up to me first. But those relationships tend to be draining for me because they are one sided relationships. I have realized that I push people away before getting too close, and I don’t let people know how I really feel, especially in moments when I really need a friend. I don’t want to be co-dependent and so I try to deal with things that I am struggling with on my own, or with God’s help. So I am going to try to open myself up more, in hopes that I wont get hurt, and if I do I am going to ask God to help me to continue to open up and trust people more.
