Metaphor: My Life As a Chapter In a Book

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about how about 8 weeks ago; I realized metaphorically speaking that writing the end of a chapter in your life is a lot harder than it seems. At the beginning of January as I processed the last year or two, I found myself not really being able to fully describe what was going on because I was anticipating the next chapter to begin and dreaming of the stories to come. As I look back on the past 2 years of my life living in Denver, Colorado it has been amazing. I have matured so much which means that I have grown tremendously. I have had more ups than downs, and honestly struggled at times with not knowing how my rent was going to come in and even how to get more people to financially support me as I live in the United States as a missionary. However, through all of my struggles God never left my side and He always provided financially for all of my needs. Through my struggles I learned to trust Him and I learned to lean on Him for strength. For all of the times that were good, I grew in confidence in the woman I am and I grew in self-discipline/ self-control. And the more I put situations in God's hands, the more I would laugh and smile. The joy of the Lord was truly my strength. And this joy was and continues to be contagious. Now as this new chapter has begun the joy from God continues to be my strength. Joy continues on into this chapter.

In the past I have been frustrated that my close friendships would always seem to be in my life for about 2 year increments. However, I recently realized that the reason why those friends only were in my life for about 2 years was because I was beginning a new chapter of my life and they were going in another direction, therefore leading them out of the chapters of my life. This even applies to my last dating relationship, which also lasted around 2 years. While pondering this fact of my close friends being in and out of my life every 2 years, I wondered how I would be able to get married and even wondered if I had something emotionally wrong with me. But actually God revealed to me that as I stated before, those friends of mine and I were going in the same direction at the same time, but then our lives were calling us in different directions. And as for my future husband, God will be always leading us down similar paths and no matter what we are committed to each ... For better or worse better, In sickness and health, For richer or poor richer, Until death we will part.

Speaking of "better or better", that is where I begin to write this next chapter of my life. This past week we had our annual staff conference and I have committed to be on staff for another 2 years. I do not know what it will look like for these next 2 years on staff other than learning more in leadership. However, in my personal life I will be bettering myself in health, life skills, passions, God given dreams and desires, and other things. I am so excited about these things to come, because they are things I have put aside for a time and now I feel like God is strongly encouraging me to pick up those things that I have put aside. I have no idea what it will look like, but I do know that my commitment on staff is more important than these things that I will be pursuing aside from "work time". I am excited to see what doors of opportunity open up and what doors close. Another thing that is great, is that as I am bettering myself in all aspects of life, I will also be bettering those around me and the campus that I volunteer at. I am so excited for these next two years and I love fantasizing about what may come out of my dreams and passions. :-)

You Think You Are Dreaming Big, Dream Bigger With God

For the past 6 weeks, God has been challenging me to think larger and to dream bigger. So, I have been thinking about my future and asking myself questions like, What would I do if I had a lot of money? And If I could do anything in the world, what would I do and why? At first I felt selfish and thought that I shouldn't be thinking so lavishly. But when I asked God about it, I believe He was saying that the things I want to do are not selfish and that I was created for great things. And when I really thought about it my life would be somewhat different, but my passions for bringing people closer to God and inspiring them in truth remains the same. Maybe one day God will bless me with a platform to speak truth and inspire people much like the popular NFL player, Tim Tebow .Or maybe one day I will be working a minimum wage job with what appears to be little influence. It doesn't matter to me as long as I am being obedient to the things God is asking of me. Another things that I have been thinking about is the fact that recently people have told me that I am being a good steward of the things God has given me; which makes me think of this scripture and wonder what other things will God have me be in charge of.


“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ - Matthew 25:23 NIV


Again I ask myself, If I could do anything in the world, what would I do and why?


Sometimes when I begin to think of "my dream job", having a nice house with little to no bills, and having the privilege of speaking truth to thousands of people - I become awestruck thinking Really? Me? No, someone else can do a better job or communicate things better. But why not? Why not me? If that's how God will use me, then so be it. If God wants to use my life in such a enormous way, then let it be. Why should fear of failure, or fear of not communicating effectively get in the way? WHY NOT?! This makes me think of the life of Moses, who led thousands of people out of Egypt (a place filled with many lies and injustices) with a speech impediment. If God used Moses, why not use someone else like me? I don't have a speech impediment, but I do struggle when stressed or under pressure to communicate clearly. With every opposing question that comes in my mind, I realize more and more that it's only a lie. A lie to get me to not walk in the fullness of who God created me to be. However, I will not succumb to these lies. I will not settle for anything less than my best. I will live my life humbly and obediently for God and only Him, no matter how big or small the platform may be.