Ministry

Well, tonight I taught Junior High at my church (there are only 3 of them) for the first time. I am always hesitant when someone asks me to teach, because I do not think that I am able to teach effectively (sometimes I have a hard time explaining things). But I as I was teaching - I wasn't nervous and I didn't have a problem explaining things. I was a little nervous before teaching because my pastor was going to sit in on my class to make sure that I didn't have any problems or questions along the way. But after worship was over - I wasn't nervous anymore. Thank God! :o) But like I said, I think things went well. There is a curriculum that I am going through and I taught on WORSHIP. I was so excited to teach on worship because that is exactly what I plan to get more training on in the Fall.

As I was driving home and thinking about how God had used me throughout the night... Well, I am realizing more and more that God is calling people (especially under the age of 40) to minister to the world. People don't think that they are qualified - so they don't step up into what God is calling them to do. Also, so many people in church complain and gossip about what should be done differently. But no one is doing anything about it. Why not?! Just think... young people could spice up this world... oh wait, the courageous and obedient ones are. ;-)

I also am seeing more of the importance of having ministry in the Christian life. I was told this by many influential people in my life but I am really starting to understand it now that I have my own personal ministry. I LOVE IT!!! It's so refreshing!!!

I Remember When ...

Today I was reading some of my journals that I had written while I was doing my DTS, and I found myself saying things like: "Oh, yeah I remember that!" and "Yeah, that was really good/fun. I remember when...". As I was reminiscing I felt like the last 6 months was all a dream. Here I am back in the real world, and I want to go back to "that dream". I love being home and back in the real world, but lets face it... the real world sucks sometimes. I cannot wait until I get back into doing what I feel like God has called me to do... make a difference in this world through SINGING and writing lyrics. I've had some inspiration to write lyrics since I've been home, but I am rusty at it because I haven't written any poems or lyrics for years. Anyway, I am looking forward to the Fall when I can do a SOW, but until then... it looks like I'm back in the real world trying to do what God's called me to do.

A Time Of ...

I was just thinking about the things that God has been speaking to me lately about relationships. During this time that I am home, before I go away to do a SOW, I have felt like it is going to be a time of.... a time of... I just couldn't figure out how to end the sentence until now. I feel like this short time that I am home is going to be a time of restoration of old friendships/relationships.

For example, I didn't realize until I came home from my DTS how much of a rebellion that I was in BEFORE I did my DTS. In my testimony I refer to my "rebellion phase" being the time when I was 16 and I felt as though my life was the hardest it has ever been. But I realized once I came back home from my DTS that I never really left my rebellion phase - I just covered it up or put a mask on it.

I've realized that while I am home I have a time to redeem myself and restore relationships that I have neglected. These relationships include EVERYONE in my life, but especially my parents. They have put up with so much CRAP from me, and I am sure that I've given them many gray hairs.

I just want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry to my parents, my immediate family, my extended family, my old friends, and even my new friends. I am sorry if I have neglected our friendship/relationship. I secretly saw that my life was headed no where, and I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt - so I built a wall. I would let people into my life, but I would only let them be at arms length. I was afraid of getting close to people. Like I said, I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt, but in reality I not only hurt myself - I also hurt you.

I am sorry. Is there a chance that we can restore our friendship/relationship?!

Home from DTS

I am so excited to have graduated from my DTS. I have such a sense of accomplishment. I have put so much of my time and energy into discovering God, discovering who I really am through God, discovering God's plans for my life, and so much more. Although, through my excitement I am still sad to have to say "goodbye" to my friends who have become my family. I am planning on visiting the people that will be in Wisconsin, but for those who live father away - well, I am sad that I will not see them until God has our paths cross again. Tomorrow I have to say "goodbye", and I HATE goodbye's - I'd rather say "See you later", because at least with "see you later" there is a feeling of hope that you will see each other again sometime soon. I can honestly say that I love everyone I did my DTS with, as well as my wonderful leaders and staff.

I am so excited to go on with my life. I plan to do a School of Worship (SOW) through YWAM in the fall of this year. Where I plan on being away from home for 3 months and then for about another 3 months I plan to do an outreach. School of Worship is much like a Discipleship Training School (DTS) but it is focused on worship and intercession/prayer. After I do a SOW, which will be about a year from now, I do not know what I will be doing or where I will be going. I am just trying to take one day at a time. That is one of the many things that God has shown and taught me during this DTS.

By the way, tonight for my graduation I helped do vocals for worship. But before then I was feeling so completely stressed out. I had to help plan for the graduation and I had no idea why I was stressing about it so much. But it was AWESOME because after singing half of a song for worship I felt so at peace. It is so AMAZING how when you focus on God, how He takes all of your worries/stresses away.

GOD IS SO INCREDIBLE! :o)