Intended for Larger Things

Picture taken from flickr.com

For the past week I’ve been reflecting on the personal growth that I’ve experienced. As I looked back I was reminded of a quote from the movie BIG FISH…

… Kept in a small bowl the goldfish will remain small, with more space the fish will double, triple, or quadruple it's size. It occurred to me then that perhaps the reason for my growth is that I was intended for larger things
After all, a giant man cant have an ordinary size life.

If I were a goldfish, I feel like I have already doubled in size and I am going to grow even more. I have gone through several difficult things: moving away from home, living on my own, being out of my comfort zone, etc. And through these things, like the picture above, I have jumped from the little bowl to the bigger bowl.

When I look back on my life and even think of the small town I grew up in. I think about the times that I have wanted more space to grow, but didn’t know how to obtain it. Now, I understand that I had to wait until it was given to me.

One of the biggest thing that I enjoy about my job is that I don’t have someone frequently checking up on me. Don’t get me wrong, I have a supervisor but they give me a task and expect me to get it done or most of it done. I’ve noticed that by having this freedom I have grown tremendously in maturity, discipline, and even spiritually. I love growing and moving forward in life. I’ve also realized that I like to be challenged because it stretches me to learn more and experience more.

Although hard, I am enjoying this challenging time and season of growth. I wonder how big of a fish I will grow to be.

Trying Not To Get Comfortable

It’s the middle of April which means that I have been on staff for 6 weeks. Usually by this point I have a pretty good assessment on how things are going in my life and with the things around me and what I need to do to change.

Being on staff has been good, tiring, and exciting. I love being able to work in a Christian atmosphere with positive people. I love meeting new people from all over the world and nurturing the children around me. I love where I am physically (at YWAM Denver) and what I am doing on staff (Reception, Child Care, Housekeeping, and planning for YWAM’s 50th anniversary).

Personally I can sense that I am starting to get comfortable. This is both a pro and a con. Getting comfortable can be a stepping block to apathy. I am at peace where I am, but I need to not forget to continue to push myself. I realized this today. I need to keep pushing myself to continue to develop relationships with the new students, which may include spending time with them when I am not on working hours. I need to be who I am and do what I do. I need to find a balance in pouring into others (staff and students) while also resting and allowing myself to get poured into by God. I need to remind myself daily of the promises that God has spoken to me since I have been here. He is so faithful and full of love!

Transitioning

The outreach teams are gone and in Samoa, Haiti, and Thailand. I am really excited to hear what God is doing in those countries and how He is using the teams to be a positive influence in the people there.

This week, so far, has been quiet around the base as the students are gone and myself and the other staff are preparing for the new students to arrive for the Spring quarter, which starts on Monday.

Next quarter my jobs are reception in the morning and childcare in the after noon. I am really looking forward to getting into a daily routine of my work week.

Today, as I write this I am filled with lots of joy and excitement for this new quarter to begin and also to move into my new home. Tomorrow I will be moving into the furnished  basement of a family who just ended their commitment with YWAM Denver.  I will be living there with another girl on staff, Ilsa. Ilsa did her Phase 2 with me and we’ve been roommates with each other for the past 2 weeks, so it’s been good getting to know each other on a different level than just classmates.

I’m Finally Here

Three years ago I finished my first YWAM school, and I was finally 100% sure about the calling that God had on my life. I was going to be a full time missionary and start off in the states with YWAM, but I didn’t know where. Before I eagerly jumped on the band wagon I needed to be be patient because God wanted me to go to YWAM Denver to do a School of Worship. After completing that secondary school I didn’t know what was next. I didn’t want to come back to YWAM Denver, but God slowly softened my heart and I began feeling like I was going to be on staff with YWAM Denver. I worked to save money for the next school – Phase 2/School of Ministry and Development. Three months after graduating from my 3rd school with YWAM – I came back to YWAM Denver to join staff.

YWAM Denver has become my home away from home.

I am officially a staff member of YWAM Denver. I have committed to being on staff here for a year at a time. I am excited for the next season of my life: one that I have been waiting 3 years to get to. I know that God has great plans for me and how to use me. I am going to meet many people in the next year along with touching the lives of many people of which excites me to the core. :-) However with all of the positive things that are going to happen, I am aware that it is not going to be easy and I am going to grow and mature to a deeper level.

The next quarter doesn’t start until April 5th, so until then I will be helping out wherever is needed. So far I know that I will be helping out in the kitchen, childcare, and maybe housekeeping.

I will post another blog once I know what I will be doing for the next quarter and of anything else that God is doing in my life.

:-)

Going to Haiti: Sooner Than Later

It’s been 3 years since I went to Haiti for outreach and a piece of my heart is still there. I was first broken for Haitians when I went to a Haitian village in the Dominican Republic (DR) which was near a garbage dump. I was told that those Haitians were there illegally there hoping for a better life in the DR, but by the way they were living it was worse. They had no running water, in fact the water they were drinking out of was a barrel of standing rain water that would drain off of their rusted tin roofs. Flies and mosquitoes often congregated around these water barrels. I saw many children with hardly any clothes on and very few were wearing shoes, let alone sandals.  It was poverty at it’s core. 

     

These pictures were taken at the Haitian village in the DR.

 

After about 2 weeks in the DR, I traveled to Haiti for 3 weeks. I was completely humbled as I traveled from Port-au-Prince (the capitol) to Jacmel where I stayed with a YWAM base there. My heart was broken even more as I compared my life back home to the poverty I was seeing right before my eyes. I was intimidated for the 1st week of my stay because I didn’t feel like I was doing enough for that country, but as time went on I developed more boldness within my spirit.

It has been almost 3 weeks since a 7.0 earthquake shook most of the country of Haiti.  Immediately when I had heard the news my heart was broken for the Haitians.  As I was praying for the country I felt so helpless because I so badly wanted to go and help out in any possible way. But as I was praying God reminded me that what I am doing, praying, is doing so much that I cannot even fathom. Also as I was praying I strongly felt like I will be going back to Haiti sooner than when I thought. Since I went on my outreach to the Caribbean I have always had a feeling that I would be going back but never knowing when and thinking it would be in the distant future. But I felt like God was telling me that I’d be going back to Haiti (possibly leading an outreach team) sooner than later. As I continue to pray and watch/read the news about the devastation of the earthquake I am anxious to go back to Haiti and help, but only anxious for God’s timing.

 
The Palace now after the earthquake in Port-au-Prince, Haiti 
(picture taken by one of my missionary friends January 30, 2010)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
--- Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

A building in Jacmel, Haiti

 

A boy at an orphanage that my team and I helped at.
I got attached to this little boy.