A Time Of ...

I was just thinking about the things that God has been speaking to me lately about relationships. During this time that I am home, before I go away to do a SOW, I have felt like it is going to be a time of.... a time of... I just couldn't figure out how to end the sentence until now. I feel like this short time that I am home is going to be a time of restoration of old friendships/relationships.

For example, I didn't realize until I came home from my DTS how much of a rebellion that I was in BEFORE I did my DTS. In my testimony I refer to my "rebellion phase" being the time when I was 16 and I felt as though my life was the hardest it has ever been. But I realized once I came back home from my DTS that I never really left my rebellion phase - I just covered it up or put a mask on it.

I've realized that while I am home I have a time to redeem myself and restore relationships that I have neglected. These relationships include EVERYONE in my life, but especially my parents. They have put up with so much CRAP from me, and I am sure that I've given them many gray hairs.

I just want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry to my parents, my immediate family, my extended family, my old friends, and even my new friends. I am sorry if I have neglected our friendship/relationship. I secretly saw that my life was headed no where, and I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt - so I built a wall. I would let people into my life, but I would only let them be at arms length. I was afraid of getting close to people. Like I said, I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt, but in reality I not only hurt myself - I also hurt you.

I am sorry. Is there a chance that we can restore our friendship/relationship?!